Is Estate Planning for Me?

Estate planning is for everyone.  I say that with some experience.  A few years ago my mother was diagnosed with a terminal disease.  She lived for years after the diagnosis, fighting the disease.  But, my mother, knowing that death could be in her near future, also planned for her death.  She talked to the attorneys, signed the documents, and did the things you need to do.

What my mother did – spending that time to prepare for her death – was an act of love.  My mother had been tasked with settling my grandmother’s estate.  She wanted it to be easier for her children to settle her estate than it was for her to settle her mother’s estate.

The planning was incredibly helpful for those of us tasked to “close out her life.”  YYou see - there is a common saying that in life the only certainties are death and taxes.  After dealing with my mother’s estate, I now say the only certainties in life are death and paperwork. 

The photo in this blog is typical of the paperwork which occurs after a well-planned estate.  Let me revise that for you.  We are a working-class family.  My mother worked into her 70s because she could not afford to refire.  This photo – these boxes – are typical of a working-class person’s death.  The file boxes contain mortgage documents, bank account information, credit card information, car insurance, car loan payments, home insurance, cable company, electric company, gas company, water bills, medical bills, health insurance, personal property information, final taxes, etc. and the death certificates you need to close all those accounts.  It also includes all the correspondence and notes from me to each of those companies and the final statements closing each account. 

Closing those accounts and the determination it took to do it meant it only took me three months.  I didn’t work on it every day, all day because it’s not always possible.  A lot of time is spend waiting for the companies to respond.  Sometimes you just need an emotional break.  And sometimes the tasks of clearing out the house, or running some keepsakes to a family member will take precedence. 

Careful planning will reduce the amount of time and effort spent by your loved ones after you die.  And when you die, the grief your loved ones will feel is all too real.  All the paperwork and effort needed to settle your estate comes when that grief is most acute.  Putting off estate planning can often be more painful for a loved one than preparing the way for them.

I think of estate planning as an act of love.  When we love someone, we want to cause them as little stress, anxiety, pain and grief as possible.  Careful estate planning, no matter how much or little money you may have, is an act of love and kindness to your loved ones.

This is a photo of the two file boxes that it took to close out my mother’s life.